Essence of Peace

With all the discrepancies relayed in the media and by word of mouth explaining (incorrectly) Islam and Muslim beliefs to others that don't know any better has gotten well out of control.

Being a black woman and knowing about all the stereotypes there are about black people and the racism that is very much alive and well,  I've actually felt and experienced more hate as a Muslim within the last year than ever in my 30 years being black.

That being said I want to relay a story that will show you the very essence of Islam and the peace that it's meant to bring and instill in it's followers.

Uncle Hamza ibn ‘Abd al-Muttalib:
During the Battle of Uhud (625) a woman Hind bint Utbah hired a man to kill the prophet (PBUH) or some one close to him.  This was an effort to retaliate to the deaths of her father and brother during the battle of Badr.  Success! Her hired hand was able to kill the prophet's (PBUH) Uncle Hamza.  But it wasn't enough that he was killed she had to rub it in and get in another jab at the prophet (PBUH).  So after the battle she proceeded to eating (yes, eating) Hamza's liver out of his body.

Four years later (629) after the Muslims were successful in returning to Makkah Hind bint Uthbah's husband Abu Sufyan ibn Harb had converted to Islam, but she was afraid of what was going to be done to her for what she did to the prophet (PBUH).  She thought she would have to be a shut in for the rest of her life to stay safe.

However in the three years (632) that the prophet (PBUH) lived after his return to Makkah he never so much as spoke a bad word against Hind bint Uthbah.  She was allowed to live in peace and travel throughout the city without even an evil eye given from any Muslims.  With the kindness she was shown Hind accepted the message of Islam and is now considered to be among the ranks of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).


Index:
PBUH - Peace Be Upon Him

Final Day

Alhamdulilah, We have made it to the final day of Ramadan.  May Allah bless all those who are completing their fasts and those who were unable but had the intention to do so.  In this last day I can't help but count my blessings that I have been able to fast the entire month (not counting my cycle days) as this year I haven't been breastfeeding, pregnant or sick. So I say again Alhamdulilah!  Shukran (Thank You) for my family may you bless them with long lives, lots of love and most important plenty of knowledge and faith in their deen.

Ramadan Half way point

Alhamdulilah, Allah has made it easy on my husband and I that we have successfully made it through to the half way point of Ramadan.  This Ramadan and all others are a blessing and we are so thankful we have made it this far and for our little family.

My daughters have grown by leaps and bounds in their faith and I am so very proud of them.  My son mashaAllah was praised Saturday at the Masjid for praying so well at the ripe old age of 2.  I would like to thank Allah and my husband for being the best teachers.  Allah for teaching my husband who is in turn teaching my son.  My daughters are coming into their own in this deen and mashaAllah it is amazing to watch.

I pray: May Allah continue to make it easy on all of us fasting muslims that we may be able to complete the remainder of the fast, Insha'Allah.

Ramadan 1435 and the Family Q

Family Qhamata will start fasting tomorrow Insha'Allah.  As usually DH called it.
Hilal Committee
Assalam u Aaikum WaRahmatullahe WaBarakatuhu

The Hilal for the month of Ramadan was not sighted anywhere in North America on the evening of Friday, June 27, 2014. Therefore, we will complete 30 days of Shaa'ban and the 1st of Ramadan 1435H will be Sunday, June 29, 2014, Insha 'Allah.

Jazkaumullahu Khairan
Hilal Sighting Committee of North America

5 extremely practical tips to prepare for a Productive Ramadan

5 extremely practical tips to prepare for a Productive Ramadan. 

So here we go:

Tip #1 READRead a chapter on fasting from any well-known Islamic Fiqh book. There are many in the market, but the most popular fiqh book is a book called Bulugh Al-Maram by Imam Ibn Hajr Asqalani (773H-852H) and it has the rulings regarding fasting from the major schools of Fiqh in Islam. If you find this book technical, I suggest you go through the bits you don't understand or not sure about with your local imam/scholar. Make sure you don't start Ramadan without you being clear about all the issues you normally are not clear about regarding fasting. This will save you tons of hours of confusion and doubt!

TIP #2 WRITEWrite down at least 10-20 pages of duas you want to make for yourself, your family/friends, and Ummah. This tip was shared with me by Sh.Muhammad Al-Shareef in a recent interview I held with him and I found it really useful. Do this exercise with your spouse and children and it'll be a great bonding experience. You might think it's hard to come up with 1 page of dua even, but really believe that you're asking the King of All Kings, Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) and He'll grant you what you wish, so ask and never be shy or think "it's too much!".

TIP #3 FASTPractice fasting! Yes, practice to fast during this last month before Ramadan. If you want to avoid the headaches and hunger pangs of the first days of Ramadan, fasting during these last few weeks before Ramadan would get you physically & mentally prepared. Aim to fast Mondays & Thursdays during this month and do more if you can. Also, don't just practice fasting from food and drink, but also from backbiting, lying, looking and listening to haram and anything that will harm your fast.

TIP #4 PRAYIf you're not used to night prayer, aim in the next few weeks before Ramadan starts to pray at least 2 rak'ah of night prayer + 3 rak'ah of witr prayer either right after Isha or just before you sleep. This will help you overcome laziness during Ramadan from praying the taraweeh prayers or late night prayers.

TIP #5 DOWNLOAD5. Download our Productive Ramadan Taskinator! This is our very own hour-by-hour Ramadan planner, which helps you plan for each hour of Ramadan. It might be overwhelming at first when you first fill it, but keep filling it and you'll end up with a beautiful and practical Ramadan plan inshaAllah.

I hope these tips help you. Don't let them stop here though, pass them to your friends and families by simply clicking forward above OR sharing them with your friends on Facebook/Twitter.

P.S. More practical tips coming this Friday ;)

Sincerely,
Abu Productive

From Productive Muslim: "Because Khadijah Asked...."

“Because Khadijah Asked…” An Alternative Path To Meeting Mr. Right

Khadijah. Just saying her name instantly inspires me to want to be a stronger Muslimah, to sacrifice more, to discover her hidden strength and beauty she gave to her husband.

Khadijah. Who was this amazing, strong, beautiful, brilliant, pious and noble woman? I don’t mean who was she in the Seerah text, but who was she? What was it like to be her friend, what events shaped her life? What would it have been like to sit down with her over a meal and talk? What kind of advice could she tell me about marriage, Mr. Right, and living until your last breath is gone, all for the sake of Allah?

It is because of her that our Deen begins with a legacy that starts, after Rasullah, with a woman. After the Mercy of Allah  (glorified and exalted be He), it is because of her sacrifices that we are Muslims today. She gave everything she had, all that she owned, from her hands, heart, and soul for Islam.

But to appreciate this beautiful opportunity she had, we have to go back to a very significant moment in time. That moment is when she asked her maid servant to inquire about the young man who was working for her to see if he was available for marriage and would consider her. A man who had a beautiful character and was honest, hardworking, trustworthy and produced amazing results for her business.

Khadijah asked.

Khadijah, may Allah’s Mercy be upon her, asked about Prophet Muhammad  (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) for marriage.

She initiated the communication.

She sent someone on her behalf to find out if he was available for marriage.

And it was because she asked, that she got that blessed answer.

And with that answer, was the beginning of one of the greatest stories of love for all times, and also one of the greatest examples of a true Muhsina and Mu’mina.

A woman older than him, previously married with children, was inquiring about a younger bachelor, from one of the best tribes in town. The honor of his acceptance wasn’t just hers alone. It was his too. He was going to marry one of the most beautiful hearts in all of Mecca. A woman whose heart would sacrifice everything she had to support him and Islam.

Khadijah asked.

Today, you’re probably wondering when and how you will get married. You go to school, maybe then graduate school, and after this begin a career. As time passes, the pressure begins to set in to get married. But out there in the world, you see many single and available brothers that you could consider as a Mr. Right potential.

What I want you to realize, is that many Mr. Right potentials, have no idea you’re available for marriage, ready to settle down, have time for a husband, or willing to accept him for where he is right now in his career and education. After all, few brothers in their early 20s will have enough income saved up for a luxury wedding, vacation, apartment and car all at once. But I meet sisters who tell me that this isn’t the main issue, that they can wait while he builds his career and financial situation.

How is he ever going to know that you don’t mind letting him build things up over time? After all, he is living under the impression of the same cultural status that you are.

I recently surveyed the brothers on our Practimate list and told them I was teaching you to be proactive, similar to Khadijah, in finding a husband, by sending a third party to inquire on their behalf, whether a mahram or a trusted friend. I asked them if they thought this was weird, desperate or something they would consider offensive.

Their responses broke the common myth!

One brother said,

“It will be more helpful if the word is “out there” in an appropriate manner. I feel like the present times are a bit in transition where old systems are failing (the waiting game) and new systems are coming into play, and we are held up between the two. For my parents’ time the waiting thing worked as it had the right setting from every perspective…”

Another brother said,

“A girl needs to put all the “games” aside and just be real with people. If that means that she tells her family about the brother…so they can talk with him, so be it. In fact, if a sister’s family or someone she knows came to me telling me that a sister is interested in me, I would at the very least check it out; I would take the opportunity seriously. Khadijah sent someone to speak with the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) about marriage…she took the initiative, this also shows that a women is strong and willing to take charge when needed. The sister has to be a REAL, genuine person, down to earth (for it to work.)”

In general, the idea of you sending someone, respectably speaking, to inquire with tactfulness, and in a good manner – not a “I have a friend who likes you” mentality, but again, with maturity and modesty, is something a mature man, ready for marriage, will appreciate. Only 1% of the brothers who responded didn’t agree with my recommendation. And it’s not that he disagreed, just felt that men should be more pro-active themselves, if they really want to be married.

So why not pursue Mr. Right like Khadijah?

Sadly, we have ignored this example (and others) from Islam of women sending a “messenger” to inquire on their behalf about marriage. That they were proactively involved in the marriage process. Sisters accuse others of being desperate when they let others know they are looking to get married. Families believe that a daughter must be sought after and it is shameful for a daughter and her family to approach a man for marriage.

And so, many beautiful, smart, educated and talented women are waiting and waiting for Mr. Right to knock on their father’s door. And in the silence of a new beautiful day, when no one is looking you may feel sad and despair. Of course, you know all things are in the hands of Allah (glorified and exalted be He). Of course you know that there is reward in sabr, but you are like everyone else on the planet. A desire to marry, and one day to begin a new family. So rather than judgment and a discussion on the ideal bubble we all “should” be living in:

It’s time to re-examine our value system, and not forbid or look down upon something approved of and practiced by the best man on the face of the earth, and our Mother for all believers, one of the best women in human history.

The re-examination process, begins with you.

If you are ready to consider an alternative option for seeking out Mr. Right, then first, I want to mention that there are rules to this pro-active approach.

Here are some guidelines to follow if you are considering being the pro-active person in initiating marriage dialogue.

1) Never initiate something without having a wali or mahram having complete knowledge of what is going on.

This protects you and the potential Mr. Right from ending up in a situation not pleasing to Allah (glorified and exalted be He). You want to go through this process in a halal and dignified manner.

2) Send someone you trust to ask on your behalf, without initially revealing your identity.

This way, you know if the brother is even available before revealing your personal information. One brother mentioned in the survey responses, that it’s great to give a brother a heads up that someone is interested, because if he is talking to another sister already, then he can let the messenger know, and if it doesn’t work out, he can come back and also let her know.

If he is interested, then have your “go between” share who you are, and ask the brother how you and your wali can contact him – but communication should always go back to your wali or mahram.

3) Pray istikharah.

We ask Allah  (glorified and exalted be He) to guide us daily every time we say “Ihdina Siratul-Mustaqeem” in Salah, but we are also blessed to have a special du’a just for making decisions.

The reality is that many brothers out there desperately want to get married, but feel there are so many hurdles to overcome to get there.

The first hurdle, is fearing rejection. Women tend to think men always have their act all put together, but they have their own batch of insecurities and fears. It may make things easier for a man to consider you when he already knows you are interested. And if he isn’t, he will be more confident in pursuing the right person for him in the future.

And what about you? Doesn’t this put you on the line to face rejection. Of course it does, but you have two choices. Do nothing, wait and handle the challenges of just waiting, which is fine if this is the path you want to take. Or do something, be pro-active, possibly meet your Mr. Right and handle the challenges of asking.

In every other area of ‘ibahadah, we don’t sit down and wait for it to come. For Hajj we save, for money we work, for knowledge we seek it out. Marriage doesn’t have to be an exception.

Because Khadijah asked, you could too.

About the Author:

Marriage coach Megan Wyatt invites all Muslim wives from the West to develop skills to create a loving, emotionally deep, spiritual and passionate marriage; to rekindle marriage as an act of worship, a path to being nearer to Our Creator and a gateway to being a wife in Jannah. You can follow her at “Wives of Jannah” on Facebook.

New Year Hijra 1434

Happy new year to all Muslims and their families in the new Hijra year 1434.  May we see the favor and mercy of Allah in this year.

Ramadhan Focused

With a little more than a month to go before Ramadhan starts I have already started preparing.  I am in the process of working up meal plans and days(nights) at the masjid.  I have also started to put together ideas for what I want to buy everyone to wear for EID and gifts to give.  I am looking forward to the blessings of this month and pray that I am able to sustain the fast and my breastfeeding.

A few websites to check out:

A Muslim child is Born

TJ Ramadan

Ramadan Planner

Ramadan Reminders

Eid Mubarak

Alhamdulilah another Ramadhan has passed.  May Allah bless all those that fasted this Holy month and those who had the intention (like myself), but were unable to.

We look to tomorrow Eid al Fitr which is not a day to gorge on food just because fasting has ended, but as another blessing of another day and the blessing to see another Ramadan come to a close.  Please join me in welcoming the month of Shawal and blessing all of those who will fast the first 6 days as well.

May Allah have mercy on all of our souls on the day of Judgment and bless us that we may make it to the Hereafter with those we love.

Qhamata News update

Extra, Extra Read All about it!

The Qhamata's, Alhamdulilah are expecting #3.  You read right Mr&Mrs. Qhamata are welcoming a new addition to their lives.  With Africa almost 6 years old and islamicly Khalifah just turned one on the 25th of Ramadan we are expecting another bundle of joy.  This blessing's expected arrival is March 10th 2012.

After a successful 12wk doctor's appointment today and only one minor hiccup so far we feel it is a good time to spread the news.  I will still be watched and have weekly shots starting mid September, but we are looking forward to a healthy baby next year.

I would like the sex to be a surprise this go round.  Being that we have two girls and I think it will be fun to wait until the end to know for sure (which since Ultrasounds can be wrong, no one knows for sure till the end).

Ramadhan approaches August 1-August30

Assalamu alikum wr wbr...

★ ★ Practical Pre Ramadhaan Tips ★ ★

It is important for us to prepare for the Holy Month of Ramadan in order to reap the maximum benefits from this month. Rasulullah (may the prayers of Allah and peace be upon him) and his noble Sahabah (may Allah be pleased with them) used to look forward to the coming of the blessed month of Ramadan. The Holy Prophet (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) would say in his supplications:

Allahumma barik lana fi Rajab wa Sha’ban wa ballighna Ramadan
“Allah bless us in the month of Rajab and Sha’ban and help us to meet and spend Ramadan (in a deserving manner).”

Ramadan is the month of excitement and enlightenment for Muslims. It is the month of revelation of the Holy Qur’an, the month of reading and reciting the entire Qur’an, the month of tahajjud and qiyamul layl, of tarawih prayers, of sadaqah, zakatul fitr, and zakatul mal.

No one can go anywhere without preparation, and no one invites a guest without preparing to welcome him/her. Similarly, to welcome Ramadan — the month of fasting — one has to prepare. The following are some tips to help you receive and welcome this noble month of Ramadan.

1. Try to fast on Mondays and Thursdays, as of today.

2. Start reading Qur’an daily after Salatul Fajr.

3. Spend some time listening to recitations from the Qur’an.

4. Train yourself to go to bed early so that you can wake up for Salatul Fajr.

5. Keep yourself in a state of wudu’ at all times.

6. Evaluate yourself daily before going to bed. Thank Almighty Allah for all the good deeds you do, and repent to Him for your mistakes and sins.

7. Give yourself some time alone, so that you can meditate, make dhikr, tasbih, takbir, tahmid, tahlil, and other forms of dhikr. You will experience spiritual elevation and you will enjoy life tremendously.

8. Those who can afford to make ‘Umrah before Ramadan comes should do so, and those who are able to perform ‘Umrah in Ramadan should do so. ‘Umrah in Ramadan is equivalent to (the reward of) a hajj.

9. Start giving (charity) daily, no matter how little it is. Make it a habit, like eating and drinking.

10. Find time to pray extra nawafil (optional) salah, such as Salatul Duha, Qiyamul Layl, and Salatul Tahajjud. (note: If you have fardh – obligatory – prayers to make up, it is much more important to fulfill those first.)

11. Spend more time reading Islamic books, especially the Holy Qur’an, books on Seerah (the life of the Messenger of Allah), hadith, and fiqh.

12. Find time to help others with your wisdom, knowledge, and other talents.

13. Try to write articles on Islam for Muslims and others for non-Muslims.

14. Associate with Muslim scholars, ‘ulama, and pious believers so that you may learn from them.

15. Train yourself to do good, no matter how insignificant it may seem, and render useful service to others.

16. Try to learn how to make da’wah to non-Muslims, and engage in this noble activity. It is an art requiring knowledge and training.

17. Try to spend more time with your family, and remind them to prepare for Ramadan as well.

SOURCE: Ramadan Companion

by Faisal Abdur Razak